by Janine Howe, BCBA Mom and Director of Foundation Lane. This is Part 1 of a 2-part Guest Post Series. Stay tuned for Part 2 later this week!!
As a parent raising children in the 21st century, I am fortunate enough to reap the benefits of countless innovations and conveniences that previous generations were only dreaming about. Between my google search bar, ready-made meals, and Amazon Prime, I can essentially have all of my needs met immediately (or within 2 days) with little to no effort. Within this age of technology, I have also found myself deep into a world of comparison and feelings of inadequacies as I scroll social media and realize that other parents are actually superheroes who can do it all. Meanwhile, I’m just over here running a business, wondering how I could possibly have this many loads of laundry to fold, and trying to remember the last time I felt as rested as those parents on social media look.
There will always be someone or some website telling you how to be a better person or a better parent and in the words of Rachel Hollis, “Someone else’s opinion of you is none of your business”. So, let’s set the record straight. I am not here to judge you as a person or a parent. I’m not here to tell you what is best for your children and your family. How could I? I’ve never even met you! My hope is that using my background as a Behavior Analyst, Business Owner, and a Mommy of Two, I can give you the tools to help you find a little bit of balance in one area of your parenting: PLAY!
Now, you can easily fall into the traps of social media and google searches which would tell you that if you spend too much time playing with your kids, you’re a helicopter parent and if you don’t spend enough time playing with your kids, you’re hindering their social-emotional development. Let’s throw those preconceived notions and online opinions right out the window and focus on what we have in front of us right now. I want to meet you where you are as a parent and help you figure out your own plan for playing with your kids. Let’s dive in!
Part one of this post is for parents who absolutely can’t imagine getting on the floor, putting a crown on their head, and pretending to drink tea out of tiny cups for the sheer enjoyment of their children. If this is you, don’t fret! Remember, playing with kids is my job. In one way or another, it’s been my job since I was old enough to babysit. I have spent enough time coaching parents to know that not everyone has the imaginary play bone in their body and for some, they would easily trade dishes for an entire year over engaging in pretend play with the tiny humans they love so much. If this is you, give the following three suggestions a try.
Set the Environment Up for Success
Keep age-appropriate toys organized in a playroom or common area, somewhere your child spends most of their time. Rotate the toys monthly to increase interest and encourage creative play. Ensure the space is kid friendly with any unsafe or messy items stored away and out of reach. If you aren’t going to be sitting with your child during play, I wouldn’t recommend keeping the markers on the table, unless you love scrubbing the walls. By doing this, you will help facilitate and encourage your child’s independent play skills.
Schedule Social Opportunities
If your child is in daycare or school, they will be getting plenty of playtime with peers. If they are home during the day, consider scheduling playdates or visiting a popular playground where your child will have the opportunity to run around and interact with other kids. If you live in the frigid Northeast like I do, check out the amazing indoor playgrounds during the winter months.
Find Other Ways to Spend Meaningful Time:
If play isn’t your area of expertise, don’t worry. Quality time with you is one of the best gifts you can give your child. Since pretend play with toys may not be your favorite activity, spend some time thinking about what your passions are in life. What is it that interests you? Can you use your interests to interact with your children? Do you have a love for movies? Watch a movie with your child, without looking at your phone or getting distracted. Comment on the characters and make a point to laugh at the funny scenes WITH your child. Do engineering and science get you excited? Find something you can build or a science experiment you can do with your child. Do you love to dance? Turn on the music and dance in the kitchen. Do you love cars? Try racing remote control cars around the house. Do you love puzzles? Throw a puzzle on the table and work with your child to put a few pieces in each night. You see where I’m going with this. Ask yourself today: what is ONE passion that you can share with your children?
By giving these suggestions a try, you just might find that there ARE ways that you can enjoy playtime with your kids without getting on the floor and rocking the tiara and boa for a princess tea party. Let us know what you are passionate about and how you introduce these passions to your children! Stay tuned for Part 2 with 5 steps to simplify play and teach you how to build your play skills.
Janine Howe is Mommy to two girls, a Board Certified Behavior Analyst and the Founder and Executive Director at Foundation Lane. Her passion for the field of Behavior Analysis and her love for children led her to make Behavioral Therapy a life-long career. Also be sure to follow Foundation Lane, LLC on Facebook for great resources and shares!
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