Before you had kids, did you have a picture in your mind of the perfect mom? The kind of mom YOU were going to be? When you think about your imaginary mom now, what’s your reaction? Mine is to laugh! I mean really. I had no idea….
As moms, we know that our attitude and tone can set the temperature for the whole family. “When mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” Is that only a Texan saying?? It sounds ridiculous but have you experienced it in real life?
Even when our kids are struggling with their own emotional regulation, if we can maintain our own sense of calm, everyone can recover faster and find better ways to communicate their wants and needs. But with all the constant pressures on us moms, how do we do that? Through psychological flexibility and self-compassion. AKA all the things we talk about in The Calm & Connected Journal.
I want to give you a sneak peek into the 5 key themes that I cover in The Calm & Connected Journal.
1. You Deserve the Same Kindness You Show Others
You’re quick to comfort your kids when they have a hard day. You tell them:
- “It’s okay to mess up.”
- “Everyone has tough moments.”
- “You’re doing your best, and that’s what matters.”
But when you’re having a hard day, do you offer yourself the same kindness? Motherhood can be relentless—packed with never-ending tasks, decisions, and emotional ups and downs. You deserve the same patience and grace you give to everyone else. Being kind to yourself isn’t selfish—it’s essential for your well-being and your family’s. The mom guilt thoughts that pop up and telling us we aren’t good enough- those are just words and sentences being told to us by our minds or our inner critics. They aren’t hard and fast truths we must cling to and believe.
2. You Can’t Control Everything—But You Can Respond with Purpose
Some days, parenting feels like riding a rollercoaster you definitely didn’t sign up for. One moment, everyone’s laughing—and the next, someone’s crying over the “wrong” color cup.
You can’t control everything life throws your way—but you can choose how you respond. That’s called psychological flexibility—staying steady, adaptable, and resilient when things feel out of control (which, let’s be real, is daily in motherhood).
Here’s how psychological flexibility can change your parenting:
- Pause instead of reacting. Take a breath before responding when you’re triggered.
- Choose what matters most. Focus on your core values instead of being pulled into every stressful moment.
- Move forward after tough moments. A rough start to the day doesn’t mean the whole day is ruined.
3. Let Go of Perfection, Embrace Progress
Spoiler alert: There’s no such thing as a perfect mom.
- Some days, dinner’s a balanced meal with veggies on the side.
- Other days, it’s chicken nuggets…again.
- Some nights, you read three bedtime stories.
- Other nights, you’re counting the seconds until lights out.
The truth? Your kids don’t need a perfect mom. They need you—imperfect, loving, and showing up with all the heart you’ve got.
Motherhood isn’t about “getting it all right.” It’s about being present, trying again, and showing love—even when things aren’t picture-perfect.
4. Small Acts of Self-Compassion = Big Changes
It’s the small things that make the biggest difference:
- Taking a deep breath before responding to a tantrum.
- Letting yourself rest instead of powering through.
- Speaking kindly to yourself after a hard day.
Self-compassion isn’t about making huge life changes overnight—it’s about small, meaningful acts of grace that build a foundation of love, patience, and resilience (for yourself and your family).
Here’s how small acts can shift your whole perspective:
- You become more patient. Giving yourself grace helps you show more patience toward your kids.
- You feel more resilient. Tough moments don’t define your day when you offer yourself understanding.
- You model self-love. Your kids learn kindness and compassion by seeing you practice it with yourself.
5. When Things Go Sideways, You Can Still Move Forward
Motherhood rarely goes as planned.
Ever felt like your day was completely derailed by 9 a.m.?
- The coffee spilled.
- The toddler refused pants (again).
- The permission slip went missing.
- And it’s not even lunchtime yet.
Here’s the truth: You don’t have to “fix” everything to have a good day. Psychological flexibility means learning to adjust, adapt, and keep moving forward—even when life doesn’t follow the script.
Here’s how to move forward when things fall apart:
- Breathe first, act second. A calming breath gives your brain time to think clearly.
- Shift expectations. The plan can change without ruining the day.
- Focus on what matters most. Let go of minor battles and choose peace when possible.
On January 29th, The Calm & Connected Journal launches—a guided space to help you build resilience, calm your mind, and reconnect with what truly matters—even on the wildest days.
You can’t control everything—but you can choose your next step.
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