Instead of just telling your child to ‘Stop That’, how about trying a different approach this week? Tell them what you want them to do INSTEAD of whatever behavior is driving you crazy.
When you find yourself constantly saying, “No. Stop. Don’t do that! Put the cat down! Don’t eat that! STOP!”, doesn’t it make you feel like a crazy person? Well, your Little doesn’t always immediately know what you want them to actually do instead.
Technically, a replacement behavior will serve the same function as the problem behavior. In other words, it will help your child get access to whatever it is they are seeking. Examples: attention, getting out of a situation, access to something, or something that just feels like fun to them!
So before telling your kid to stop doing what they are doing. Think of what you’d like them to do instead. Even better- offer them choices of two replacement behaviors or activities to choose from!
Examples:
- Stop jumping on the couch. You can do jumping jacks on the floor or go run two laps around the back yard.
- Don’t eat the markers. You can ask for a snack or go blow bubbles.
- Stop yelling. You can ask me nicely or tap me lightly on the arm to get my attention.
Try it this week. See what happens! What’ve you got to lose? (Oh yeah- it’s summer already in most of the country. Your sanity. That’s what you’ve got to lose!)
In my book, there is a whole chapter on this subject. Check it out if you want to learn more!
RESEARCH is cool!
Cooper, J., Heron, T., & Heward, W. (2007). Basic Concepts. In Applied Behavior Analysis(2nd ed.). Columbus: Pearson.
Golddiamond, I., (1974). Toward a constructional approach to social problems: Ethical and constitutional issues raised by applied behavior analysis. Behaviorism, 2, 1-85.
Snell, M. E., & Brown, F. (2006). Designing and implementing instructional programs. Instruction of students with severe disabilities, 5, 111-169.
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